50 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat - Yoopers plant gardens
40 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably - Yoopers sunbathe
35 above - Italian cars won't start - Yoopers drive with the windows down
32 above - Distilled water freezes - Lake Superior water gets thicker
20 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, hats - Yoopers throw on a T- shirt, maybe
15 above - Californians begin to evacuate the state - Yoopers go swimming
0 - NY landlords turn on the heat - Yoopers have the last cook-out before it gets cold
10 below - People in Miami cease to exist - Yoopers lick the flagpole
20 below - Californians fly away to Mexico - Yoopers throw on a light jacket
40 below - Hollywood disintegrates - Yoopers rent some videos
60 below - Mt. St. Helens freezes - U.P. Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door-to-door
80 below - Polar bears evacuate Antarctica - U.P. Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival"
100 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole - Yoopers pull down their earflaps
173 below - Ethyl alcohol freezes - Yoopers get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg
297 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products - U.P. cows complain of farmers with cold hands
460 below - ALL atomic motion stops - Yoopers start saying... "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below - Hell freezes over - The Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl
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